working on it

so since i last posted, i've had some level of migraine pain every day. migraines make me depressed, and i'm pretty sure depression gives me migraines. So i've set myself somewhat of a schedule, a routine for working out. Tuesday, thursday and Saturday are crossfit. Wednesdays are training runs, whether i do an easy run, intervals, whatever. Fridays are cardio of whatever variety I can do. Sundays are long runs, which right now is about 3 miles. Mondays are rest, which can include yoga and dog walking. it felt good to get to workout today, but i had to take it slow and scale back. i'll try to get out and run tomorrow morning. so that's my goal this week, to workout every day till Monday. and to take my meds every day because i often forget, especially when i'm migrainy or depressed, which is what these meds are supposed to fucking help. it's what misty would call the merry-go-round of knives. if i can get into a routine and schedule, i think it will

because I can

I've decided to reboot this blog as a therapeutic space for myself. Not sharing on social media or anything, just sharing randomly on teh inter webs. because, depression. mild anxiety, but mostly depression. and maybe someone else will stumble onto this and not feel quite so alone. I'm still not super comfortable talking about my depression on social media. I'm going to talk about it here. I'm going to let it all out and maybe even find some answers. background: diagnosed with dysthymia after reaching my lowest point. currently on bupropion and sertraline. I belong to a Crossfit box and try to attend 3 days a week. OH yeah, i also have chronic migraines. my pain levels stay low but i get all the symptoms under the sun for days on end. strength training has become my go-to exercise because even on migraine days I do manage some light weights. I used to run, and i loved running. in my low depression I didn't run and it's much harder for me now. I got into

The Roof of Africa - Getting There

The flight is long coming from Italy, yet only about half as long as trips from the US. We got in around 9pm, strong winds pummelled us as we walked from the plane to the terminal. Once inside you join the flood of people headed through the immigration check. You stand in line for window 1 to pay for a visa. They direct you to window 2 where you stand in line to get a visa. Then it’s on to window 3, where you stand in line to get your visa stamped. A mix of all kinds of people, all ages, all nationalities, all tired, all just wanting to get through to the luggage wait. Of course there are a lot of people who already have visas, who only have to wait in the last line. J had collected our luggage by the time I got through all the lines. We headed outside and found Bob waiting for us. Yes, Bob. He was our driver. Frank was also there, and we would get to know Frank much better over the next week. Frank was chief guide on our trip and would lead us up the mountain. It’s about an hour

Getting Old (Or, Just Like Dad)

I've noticed a few things this past year or so. I'm getting old. So, I've had unofficial (i.e. undiagnosed) arthritis in my ribs since I was a teenager. In Junior High, I was having pain in my chest and it hurt to breathe. Mom and I wondered if I had asthma. She ran into my by-then-retired paediatrician and listed the symptoms for him. He suggested it could be tietze syndrome. I don't know if I have that, (you can google it to learn more) but I have noticed that my pain is linked to humid/rainy weather. I didn't have much trouble when we lived in the dry climate of El Paso, but now that we're back in humidity, it's started again. My ribs, on one or both sides, get very tender. I sometimes can even notice them sticking out more. Swollen maybe? It's not as painful as it used to be, but it's still bothersome. It makes wearing a bra very uncomfortable, even if I have one of my wire-free ones one. So I've dealt with that before, and I can deal

Stuff! And More Stuff!

I haven't posted in forever. I have not been writing. I haven't even been reading. What have I been doing? Working. And working some more. Winter is the busy season at Outdoor Rec. We rent ski and snowboard equipment, as well as leading ski/snowboard trips every weekend. So it's "all hands on deck" some days of the week. Three of my coworkers took vacation time over the holidays. At one point, that left 2 of us to work the front, 1 trip leader/maintenance guy/viking, and the managers. We had the boss's boss coming in to help out a few times. My point in all this, is that this period just ended. The vacation period, anyway. Everyone is back to work, and after working 8 days in a row (some half days, but still), I finally got some time off. I've been having migraines, but I'm starting to think they are associated with work and the stress of this season. And the fluorescent lights. When I get a couple days off, I feel so much better. What did

Stitch Fix - The Fifth (Falling For Red)

I needed autumn clothes. Sweaters, pants, long sleeves. I even subtly asked for a scarf. I blatantly asked for a henley I saw in another Stitch Fix. I am once again, very much, not disappointed. Sorry for the crappy pics. Infinity scarf, black sweater, print pants. Scarf is heaven. Sweater is heaven. Pants are meh. The scarf is all acrylic, sweater is a cotton acrylic blend. Both awesome. Pants are printed, and while I like the print, the fit was off. Felt a little big, but not big enough to size down. And short. See how short they are? doesn't work with any of my shoes. The pants will go back.  to see the sweater neckline Same pants, red henley, cardigan. The stylist actually went to my fashion board on pinterest (which I started specifically for Stitch Fix), saw a few grey print cardigans, and sent me this one. It is so comfy. The red henley is soft and long, lower neck without showing any cleavage. It's not the same one I asked for, which she couldn

Stitch Fix The Fourth - (Or, Independence Edition)

While I have other blog posts to write for you, this one is easy – Stich Fix the 4 th ! Just in time for the 4 th of July! How about that? This is my first Fix since moving to Italy. I am working (all the times) and haven’t had time to spend the money I’m making, so I ordered a Stitch Fix. I need new, nice summer clothes. It took a little longer to get to me, being shipped overseas and all, but they ship to APO and FPO addresses, so I thought it was worth it. (I was right!) I have a few more summer pieces to add to the wardrobe, which I needed. Like last time, the stylist got my style down to a T. Seriously; I love everything she sent me. I want the whole box. The only reason I’m not keeping the whole box is that a couple items didn’t quite fit right. (Please excuse my crazy hair, the hubs didn’t warn me that parts were sticking out and I am late on a haircut) First - The pants. So versatile! Olive green, a color I’ve been fond of off and on over