Thursday, April 26, 2012

Relay Time Again

I have been participating in Relay For Life for a few years now. Last year I was on the committee for our local event.

Of course, I'm doing it again this year. I've found out that some of my friends have just lost family to cancer, or just had family diagnosed. For some of my friends, this is their first time dealing with cancer so close to them.

It may seem a little depressing, but I kind of grew up with cancer. Not me personally, but I had lots of great aunts and uncles who had cancer. Big family.

The first case that really stands out in my mind is Barbara Losli. She wasn't related to me, but a family friend. She started a children's choir in our church. I joined. I don't know how long I was in that choir, but after a while, I was about 12, and everyone else was like 8 or younger. So she made me her assistant director while she played piano. She was the first person to really believe in my singing ability (other than my folks, of course). She pushed me to do solos, to sing more.

We were getting ready for a special mass for Easter, where our little choir would do all the music. And then my mom was telling me that Barb was dead.

What I hadn't known, was that Barb had throat cancer. She was in a lot of pain, and treatments weren't helping. She decided she'd had enough, I guess. I don't remember exactly what happened, but she either missed an appointment or had an appointment at her house. Father Fred (priest at our church) showed up at her house and found her in her car in the garage. She'd left it running. There was a note inside. This was my first time dealing with a suicide.

Another pianist for the church helped the children's choir do our mass, and we dedicated it to Barb. I barely remember the mass, but I remember having a hard time singing. I still have some silly little trinkets that Barb had given me. I keep them to remember her.

I've lost many other since then to cancer. Quite a few great aunts and uncles, a kid my age in junior high, my best friend's dad and brother (her mother is a survivor), and others.

I don't want my nieces and nephews, my friends' kids, or my goddaughter to grow up knowing cancer as closely as I do. That's why I Relay. 

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

The Anatomy of a Migraine

I got a migraine today. Still have it, in fact. It's not my typical migraine. It came on rather suddenly compared to the week-long buildup I usually have.

I went for a run this morning. Pretty good. Jessica came over and picked out some fabric for a little project I'm making for her (that I plan on blogging as long as I remember to take photos throughout). I went to belly dance. Good times.

At belly dance, I noticed my zils were hurting on my thumbs. My hands were swollen. I started drinking more water. I sat down for a bit. Then Amber commented that I looked pale. I tend to lose color in my face with migraines.

So I sat for the rest little bit of belly dance and drank more water, oh and took some ibuprofen. She said I looked a little better by the time we left, but I was starting to get the foggy feeling of a migraine, and my brain was not processing correctly.

So instead of going to decorate mugs, I went home via Sonic. I needed food. I ate my hamburger, browsed online for a bit, then decided to go to bed. I think that was around 1pm. I woke up around 3:45pm. Felt better, but not good enough to walk to Nancy Louise's house. I drove instead. Just wanted to hang out with the girls for a while. Well, girls and boys. Andrew, Jack, Cameron, and Ramzy. That's in age order. All under 2. Total cutie pies.

I'm still iffy, and even took some tramadol with dinner. I like my prescription meds. I stay somewhat clear minded with just one. If I have to take 2, I get foggy and usually just go to sleep.

Not sure what triggered this one. I'm not more stressed than I have been the past few weeks. Only thing I can think of is that maybe I over did the working out? Or didn't eat/drink enough to go with it? Monday I walked Remy then belly danced for about an hour and a half. Tuesday I did a 5K with Remy. Today I did another 5K, then went to belly dance. I have plans to run again tomorrow, but we'll see how I feel in the morning. I think I'll take another tramadol before bed to help me sleep it off.

I have no plans for tomorrow during the day, so I think I'll get started on that project for Jessica. Could probably finish it if I work at it. Then again, I thought about going to JoAnnes and getting some different thread for it. And I need a new cutting mat since I warped mine. I could still get quite a bit done on them. Curious yet? You'll see. I want to start blogging some of my crafts. This will be the start.

Time now to go lay in bed and probably crash right away. 

Saturday, April 21, 2012

Soy Un Perdedor

And on another note....

I'm down to 151. I've lost 10% of myself since starting Weight Watchers.

I really want to lose those last 2 pounds to put me in that "healthy" weight range, even though the rumors say they aren't going to follow BMI charts anymore. Once I get there, I really need to focus more on getting in shape, building up some upper body strength.

I'm going to start the Tuesday yoga basics class with a friend. I think that will help both physically and mentally. I might also watch for a pilates class at a convenient time and try to make that something regular.

As for now, I'm still mostly just running and dancing. I made it to the pool last week and would like to keep that up once a week. There is a triathlon coming up, like a month from now, but I don't think I'll be ready for it. I'd like more pool time and I haven't been on my bike in a month or more. Bad Charla!

The food is getting easier sometimes. Today, I realized that a whole pbj was a little too much for me, so I made myself a half sandwich. It was just enough with my mac and cheese. I still have slip ups and have huge points days, but not as often.

I also need to take in my pants. The ones I just bought last summer. Le sigh. If I have my cell phone in my pocket, it weighs them down enough that they start to fall off my butt. Or lack thereof. I have to admit, it's rather a nice problem to have. My clothes are all too big now. I really think this time I'll be able to keep it this way and not put the weight back on. Even had to trim the band on my sports watch the other day. I only have 1 more hole in it before I'll have to punch more holes or get a new band. I have small wrists.

I'm looking forward to my mom's next visit, because I can have her teach me how to take in the clothes I want to keep. Including some of my dresses. I have 1 formal that really fits right now, and 1 that will probably fit if I tighten the corseting on the back even more. Oh such troubles, I know, I know.

I think I should take some comparison pics of myself. I have some from back in KS, before I started my first diet. I should have some, somewhere, of me at 160ish as well. If I can find them, I'll take more and post them for y'all. Ok, mostly for me. But I like to share. 

I Think I'm Paranoid

I've been having a bit of a mental debate with myself, from time to time.

It starts up whenever I see the blue star flags, or the term blue star families, or anything of that nature.

Don't know about blue stars? This website has a good explanation on the index page. My in-laws have a blue star banner in their window, since J (their son, duh) is serving on active duty.

Lately, a lot of people only hang blue stars when a family member is deployed. I thought that's what it meant, until my father-in-law did the research. So technically, I could hang one right now, since my husband is serving. However, I feel that, because of the misunderstanding about the star's meaning, some people might see it as a sign that I am home while my husband is away. Welcome creepers.

Here's where I tell myself I'm a bit paranoid. I live on main post. I live in a very safe neighborhood compared to many others in my current city. I have a gun to defend myself. I know how to use it and I don't think I would hesitate to shoot a creeper in self defense. But would I really need to? Would anyone even bother trying to scope out my house?

We don't use the front door a lot, so there's never a lot of traffic that way, and I always keep it locked. Like, always. We don't have a bunch of expensive stuff, don't drive expensive cars (mine is 8 years old now), and don't act like we have anything worth stealing.

So when I think hanging a blue star banner in my window is like welcoming the bad guys, I'm just being my usual, cynical, slightly paranoid self.

Right?

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

I've Been Quiet Lately

Not blogging much, I know. So here's a bit of a brain dump post.

Last Tuesday, I flew to Kansas, just like I have done since I moved to Texas. I didn't visit as many people as I usually do. In fact, other than the in-laws and the nuns (all considered family), I only visited with 1 person, that I haven't seen in years. I basically took my time in KS this year to try and destress. It helped quite a bit.

I've been getting very forgetful and scatterbrained lately, and I think the stress of J's upcoming deployment, and not knowing any details (still) was really getting to me. My time in KS was relaxing and I didn't worry so much about everything that we don't know yet.

I spent a whole day with an old friend from college that had moved back to that area. It was great. I met her little girl who is just precious, and we just caught up. The great thing is that she grew up an Army brat, so she understands the Army talk and lingo. I don't have to explain things to her the way I do with non-Army friends.

I spent quite a bit (maybe a little too much) on bras, but I have some great ones. Including a new strapless. Which is perfect since we have another ball on Thursday. I spent a lot of quality time with my mom-in-law, discussing all kinds of things.

Now that I'm home, J and I have looked at our finances, and came to a realization. We got a little spend happy in March. So I looked at our income and expenses, and we're setting ourselves a bit of a budget. We want to start investing more, especially during his deployment while we can invest money tax-exempt. We each have a spending weekly spending limit for things like eating out, coffees, and unplanned spending.

I've also been thinking about my blogs. I want to put more into them. I'm just not entirely sure where to start. I would like to jazz up the appearance on at least this one and Bra Crusader. I'd love to set myself some kind of schedule to blog regularly, but we all know I'm not that great with schedules. But it might help keep me on track while J's gone. A way to keep myself aware of what day it is.

Finally, I have been doing good on the weight loss side of life. However, I let Remy get a little chunky over the winter. So we need to start walking and running more. Which is good for both of us. We also got Remy a deployment doll. J took it to the field with him and got it all kinds of stinky, so we know Rem will love it. He doesn't get it until after J's gone. Something with Daddy's smell to help remember him.

Ok. brain is emptied. Time to look up some more coupons in my attempt to save a few bucks at the commissary.